The Truth About Sex

There is a mighty chasm between the beliefs of most men and most women about copulation. I have a very definitive logic that sensibly explains why. Women, now they get their ideas for sex from romance novels and movies. Well, these are taken way too seriously. I mean, yea, a Fabio look alike with rippling abs and melting blue eyes is a nice thought.. but have you gals ever REALLY thought about the stories you read? Now, while I have seen a few who referenced the more truthful details to a point, most of the sex in books is utterly ridiculous. The majority of those books are set in medieval times or out in the old west or in parlors in gentried England. Well, how often do you hear mention of body odor.or of women whose legs or underarms aren’t shaved? them women didn’t have silky smooth skin.. they would feel like Cocodog in the dark.Those people back then bathed once a month… maybe. they didn’t shave. They probably smelled like a boy’s high school locker room. You never hear mention of a woman’s menses unless there happens to be a pregnancy on the way… never does the red sea flow over the waves of lovemaking in their scenarios. There is never tell of the cleaning of the stickiness of combined body fluids… there is always oral sex after regular intercourse… umm, gross? You never hear tell of leg cramps, hair getting caught under someone’s elbow, who goes to sleep in the wet spot, or heaven, forbid, “the accidental slip.”

Now men, on the other hand are exposed to, basically, porn. They get to a point where they don’t understand why a pizza isn’t delivered by a buxom blonde in knee socks and roller skates who just happens to drop to her knees and give him a blow job. They are programmed to think its just straight up down n dirty nookie, whereas women expect a bed of rose petals and somebody stroking her silky honeypot.

I have ranted for months about fifty shades of shit, and I will not even start on that crap at this time. Suffice it to say, I find it the utmost level of hypocrisy by the female race to read, basically, badly written smut, while chastising her husband for watching youporn. What’s good for the goose is good for the pecker, my dears. I shudder to think how many poor unsuspecting husbands have come home from work to find their slightly obese pale wife hogtied to a bedpost spread eagle… poor men. I don’t know why they tolerate women at all.. I truly don’t.

The fact is, the actual act of fucking has been written to DEATH and nobody has actually achieved the explicit explanation of what is truly experienced… it’s not possible. A human body cannot describe the feelings within another. I do not know what the tightening behind a man’s balls feels like before he comes. I cannot put into words the slight twinge of almost pain that I feel when I know my body is beginning to lubricate itself, I can’t explain how it feels like there is a direct circuit that runs from my nipples to pretty much every nerve in my body. I can’t even explain the exquisite torturous pain of orgasm, because I have bad hips. I am quite certain that there are women for whom sex doesn’t contain the same mindset as getting a new tattoo… pleasure worth the pain. Its not even the same every time for the same person or with the same person. sometimes its biting, hair pulling straight out sweaty, grinding fucking. sometimes its sweet tender kisses and love talk. Sometimes an orgasm makes you feel floaty and high.. sometimes it makes you feral… sometimes it makes you sleepy.. sometimes it makes you energetic.

I find it monotonous to read five million different descriptions of the same act, especially when no two acts are the same. The duplicity of reading it begins to feel much the same as eating bologna every single day. Oh, but for books that explored the relationships of minds instead of genitals.

 

 

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5 Responses to “The Truth About Sex”

  1. I love the 4th pargraph, You explained it very well. Love it

  2. Cherry pitz Says:

    I admire your brutal honesty! Pitz!

  3. i have the same problem trying to communicate the extent of the rampant bliss i experience with a wild goat that has taken residence in the woods near my house. its difficult not to boilerplate all the other similar incidents that have been written about to death.

  4. Reblogged this on hocuspocus13 and commented:
    jinxx ♠ xoxo

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