The Pussification of Harley Davidson

So I see Harley has released an electric Harley…  “There are milestones that change history – those pivotal moments where the future is defined. This is one of them. Just like this country, Harley-Davidson has reinvented itself many times in our 111 years. This is the next chapter of our journey. Whether you’re a rider or not, we’re inviting you to take part in the experience, and be there for this historic ride forward.” Yea, that’s basically the same song and dance we got with the “New Flavored Coca Colas” and Two and a Half Men without Charlie Sheen. A Harley without, you know, GAS, is like fuckin’ without kissin’. Who the hell wants an ELECTRIC HARLEY? And this isn’t even a NEW concept… There were electric Harleys in the past.. they were called GOLF CARTS. Here is the video for this extreme pussification of Harley Davidsons as we know them….

I also like how all the big boys are tip toeing through the handlebars carefully describing its looks. Well. EYE am not going to do so. That is one ugly motherfucker. It looks like a V-Rod being butt fucked by a Hybusa.. And what the hell is with those mirrors? It looks like something on Clark Griswald’s station wagon. The headlight also closely resembles a certain nether regions haircut known as a “landing strip.”


Photos courtesy of Cyril Huze…

Of course, not all biker bloggers are as critical as me… This is what Cyril Huze had to say about it…






My friend The Rebel chimed in on this, um, “harley” as well.. This part of his article made me want to shit in my hand and rub it in my hair…. Seriously. whomever this Olin guy is makes my ass want a dip of snuff. What a prick.

Fatten The Tails

John Olin, Chief  Financial Officer explains, “The development of Project LiveWire supports our Fatten The Tails Strategy…. The Fatten The Tails Strategy is our balanced approach to investing in products across the customer spectrum of core riders, outreach and international.”

In case you are lost already, “Fatten the Tails” has nothing to do with swingarms or rear tires or fenders. It is the insincere and sanctimonious story the Harley suits have made up about how their motorcycle company is going to outlive the guys who are stuck with Harley tattoos. “Fatten the Tails” describes a perfectly symmetrical Bell Curve with the Harley tattoo guys at its apex. They are labeled as Harley’s “core” customers. The two tails of the Bell Curve comprise the “outreach” and “international” markets. In case you are still lost, “Outreach means “young adults,” “women,” “Hispanics,” and “African-Americans.”

Really. We aren’t making that up to make Harley look stupid. The “tails” of Harley’s corporate marketing strategy refer to the theoretical tails of a Bell Curve. “Tails” does not refer to anything tangible or real. The term refers entirely to a statistical abstraction.”

What I want to know is what the fuck makes them think because I am a woman I want to ride some horse shit looking crap like this? And what the hell do “women, blacks and hispanics” have to do with building ugly ass motorcycles? I am extremely offended by this stereotypical lumping together of genders and races in some boardroom clap trap dreamed up by some mutton fuck in an ill fitting suit sitting on HIS fattened tail. They may have some people lining up to ride one but you can bet your sweet ass I won’t be one of them. What do you do? Wear an extension cord around your neck like a lasso? Harley can kiss my Bell Curve tail with this one. And I am PROUD of my Harley tattoo… and my gas guzzling Heritage Nostalgia. What the hell is this world coming to? This is like trying to replace my Ford Mustang with one of those little kid plug in Barbie Jeeps. Epic fail, Harley. Epic. Huge. Ridiculous. And did I mention ugly as Hillary Clinton’s vagina? I think they should have named this bike the “Astro-Glide”..





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: