A Bitch by Any Other Name…

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I think that if men spent as much time training their ol ladies as they do training their dogs, the biker world would move along much more smoothly… There is likely a reason why women are called ‘bitches.’ There are numerous similarities in both species.
First of all, there are the types. You have mongrels, high bred high maintenance, mutts, and loyal companions. Women, the same as dogs, sometimes are born with certain characteristics that cannot be taught out of them. Now, when I get a dog like that, just too stupid to train, well.. Sometimes a bullet and a hole in the backyard are the best investments. Now I ain’t saying you gotta go out and kill a crappy ol lady, but for god’s sake why keep feeding and housing something that does nothing but be a pain in the ass?
Secondly, the tricks you teach a dog are quite handy with women. Sit and stay, for instance… A good ol lady doesn’t get up and aggravate everyone begging for attention. She stays where she is told no matter what… Heel.. That one is self explanatory. You don’t want a woman who goes on and on like a yapping dog, or that you can’t talk her down when she loses her temper.
Dogs have to be taught not to go around humping other people’s legs.. That’s pretty much a no brainer. She also needs to learn to respect your boundaries and your property and not to stray without you knowing where she is. If you beat a dog, you either kill it’s spirit or cause it to turn on you.. Same as women.
If your woman ties up with another woman, throw some ice water on that shit and give her a sit down before it gets to the point of barking at each other incessantly across the fence.
Teach her to either give or take an ass whooping without whining about it.
Teach her that her place in life is to be there when you need her, but not to act stupid when you aren’t around.
A woman needs nurturing, talking to.. Needs to know you are glad to see them when you come home and that you are sleeping safely at night. They need to be petted and know you aren’t choosing another bitch over them.
A good bitch is fiercely protective of her pups to the point she will even fight their father over them.
A good bitch is content with whatever you provide her, mansion or shack, Dog Chow or filet mignon.
And, well, sometimes you run across one who just could benefit from a choke chain and a muzzle.

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3 Responses to “A Bitch by Any Other Name…”

  1. jjsolari Says:

    this is not long enough

  2. jjsolari Says:

    there is an entire manual here

  3. Is that it? I thought there would be a LOT MORE !!

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