Of Bikers and Venutians and Such…

image I told Jj Solari the other day that he probably wrote bikers better than anyone else on earth. He was a legendary comedy writer for early Easyriders and published a book entitled ‘When Bikers Meet Humans.’ At a glance, it looks like Jj is making fun of us while attempting to use every dirty word on earth… But, if you pay attention, his stories have a whole different lesson…. image His bikers are always kind of broken, kind of needy, kind of messy, kind of dumb… And always a hilarious exaggeration of SOMEBODY you know… Yet, even at their caricature worse, somehow the bikers are still LIGHT years smarter than the cops and various other citizens they encounter. Jj smoothly dissects the fact that average people hate bikers because they feel inferior to them. He released a new blog today highlighting his aversion to cops… Here is his introductory post…
Jj’s new blog….

 Everyone in government is a cop. By definition. Obama’s a cop. Judge Thomas is a cop. The IRS auditor is a cop. The negro woman taking your license-renewal money behind the thick plate window so you dont kill her in a fury of rage is a cop. Everyone in government can, by calling over an officer, land you in prison without the officer even bothering to get your side of things. He will obey the government employee. It would not occur to him not to. He’s a machine powered by government. Like a dog in the living room protecting the humans, the cop is that dog and his humans are State officials and employees.
   However the average American only has real ongoing relentless problems with the ordinary police officer who prowls around outside of government offices, looking for Americans to accost and either kidnap or rob or both. Usually both. This is the idiot workhorse of the State Overlord of your particular life.
   All countries have these worthless assholes but America has – by definition – the ones who are the most vile. And this is because America is believed to be founded in liberty. It wasn’t, the Constitution obliterated that little experiment immediately. However the fiction and fairy tale in the minds, if you can call them minds, of the “average American,” is that this is the land of the free. So, while being a cop in any country is a criminal enterprise, being a cop in America is especially disgusting.
   Oddly, American non-cops are not at all bothered by this. Americans are convinced they need policing. In fact they will pay cops any amount the cops demand. They don’t mind. Which is good because if they did mind they would find out real quick who the real criminals are in America. And its not the arrested. It’s the arresters.

imageThe old guys will remember Jj’s hilarious works that ran alongside the magnificent artwork of Hal Robinson, Dave Mann, Jon Towle, and others… Their amazing comedy and satirical attitudes towards ourselves helped to shape America’s bikers as we know them. I find it funny to think about the way the biker cult media in its heyday described to a tee the way we are all just a little… Well, DIFFERENT from mainstream society… For instance… Take the campfire-Venutians scene from Easy Rider.. Substitute the word ‘biker’ in when George is describing the aliens. Kinda sounds like he was describing US, doesn’t it? image That was a UFO, beamin’ back at ya. Me and Eric Heisman was down in Mexico two weeks ago – we seen forty of ’em flying in formation. They-they-they’ve got bases all over the world now, you know. They’ve been coming here ever since nineteen forty-six – when the scientists first started bouncin’ radar beams off of the moon. And they have been livin’ and workin’ among us in vast quantities ever since. The government knows all about ’em. George describes more of his “crackpot idea” to Billy about how aliens from the planet Venus have already landed on Earth and the reasons why they don’t reveal themselves as living and working people. In his theory, the government leaders have repressed information about the extraterrestrials: Well, they are people, just like us – from within our own solar system. Except that their society is more highly evolved. I mean, they don’t have no wars, they got no monetary system, they don’t have any leaders, because, I mean, each man is a leader. I mean, each man – because of their technology, they are able to feed, clothe, house, and transport themselves equally – and with no effort…Why don’t they reveal themselves to us is because if they did it would cause a general panic. Now, I mean, we still have leaders upon whom we rely for the release of this information. These leaders have decided to repress this information because of the tremendous shock that it would cause to our antiquated systems. Now, the result of this has been that the Venutians have contacted people in all walks of life – all walks of life. (He laughs) Yes. It-it-it would be a devastatin’ blow to our antiquated systems – so now the Venutians are meeting with people in all walks of life – in an advisory capacity. For once man will have a god-like control over his own destiny. He will have a chance to transcend and to evolve with some equality for all. image The government knows all about em… This is all something I have been wanting to say about bikers.. We ARE our own society living quietly in the middle of everything else going on. We have our own EVERYTHING needed to be a functioning society in and of ourselves.. We have rich and poor, loud and quiet, cooks, preachers, doctors, lawyers… Everyone. And they are divided into different families, same as a town.. and our town runs just fine until we are subjected to outside interference.


I know its perhaps frivolous to yearn for a day that existed when I was only just a child.. but, how can i not, when i see the old ways as something in need of preserving? I see the LED lighted fake tit and bike night world crumbling beneath our feet to reveal that the old guys had it right all along..  Mainstream society does in fact still carry a thinly veiled hatred for us and aversion to our ways. We are still misunderstood and persecuted by ridiculous cops.. We still have idiotic “experts’ who curl their chin whiskers into little pig tails talking a bunch of inane clap trap that solidifies the fact that they never infiltrated anything at all.. and the public gobbles it up faster than Brando drawling “what’dya gut?” At least in the world that used to exist, the world where Miraculous Mother and Gorgeous George saved the day, at least then, we EXPECTED IT.. .we weren’t blindsided by the unfairness aimed at the biker community. I prefer for my enemies to hate me to my face so I know where I stand. Call me old fashioned…. I had rather be hated for what I am than feared for what I am not.



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