The Woolly.. Elephant.. In the Room

 

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Obama is memorializing dead pachyderms while leading his black panther, Muslim, uneducated, ridiculous ‘if he had a son’ hoodie gangs in destroying monuments all over the South. The men who died trying to make things right in the War Betwen the States are even losing their GRAVES. The upheaval of books, television, movies, even a CAR is STILL second place to the memorabilia, statues, monuments and flags being desecrated in the name of the flag that has worn a whole lot more bloodstains. And the dunderheaded, jungle fevered fools who are using our heritage as their reason to hate are too damned stupid to realize they are burning the flag that feeds them. You wanna fly a flag from the ‘motherland’? Then I suggest you go get your mother and take her there… We don’t want your stupid freeloading ass anyway. How DARE they rip the guts out of our history and ancestral rights? Who the hell do they believe themselves to be, tearing away at the Southerners like Hitler after Seinfeld with such vile hatred I don’t even know how to put it in words.. But hey! Let’s go worship at the feet of dead animals!

And speaking of worshipping.. Doesn’t the HNIC claim to be a Christian? How is he saying 65,000 year old anything? Every Christian worth his salt knows that ‘in the beginning God’ was approximately 6000 years ago.

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We have all wondered why Washington has been so quiet about all the treasonous, illegal crap that has been delivered in the Wacogate Judiciary Abortion Clinic. The Justice Department, the White House, and all other governing bodies have basically crapped all over the bikers of America. The conspiracies have been rampant about Jade Helm being the reason.. Could it POSSIBLY just be on account of some piles of dry old death that could just as easily be the remains of a couple of well fed buffalo and Alex Karras? I wonder if THIS sheds a little light on a big ol steaming fuzzy elephant sized pile stinking up the entire situation.

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Apparently Waco Texas IS known for something other than being a town full of holster sniffers notoriously famous for slaughtering Christians, bikers, and various other assortments of what is considered white people these days..

He’s making a monument out of Mammoth bones! Not a monumental boner mind you, but actual flaccid frippery about so called 65,000 year old retro elephant bones… Literally the crap that is left in the ground after the good Lord has sucked all the nutrients form the animal corpse for his other creatures… It’s a hole full of.. Compost?

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Why sure, that makes sense! Our country is falling around our feet faster than a drunk cheerleader’s underwear at Homecoming, we are being attacked by ISIS and black people and pretty much anyone else that wants to attack us at the moment, our borders are a joke, cops are murdering and kidnapping innocent Americans, our military has been debilitated worse than Bruce Jenner’s pecker, the best definition I could make of the economy is broke, sticky, and confused, and that ridiculous gaggle of ass kissing court jesters up there continue to spend money like virgin sailors on first leave.. By all means our president should be busy writing executive orders about some fucking dead shaggy elephant wannabes? That were found in 1978… That the government refused to fund in 2010 and 2012.. I don’t blame them, either. There’s a reason paleontology was a JOKE on TV for a very long time.

Ross vs. Phoebe

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The website reeks of the suicide inducing boredom of visiting an alligator farm once as a kid… Without even that minute possibility of something actually waking up and killing something else to liven things up now n then. Oh, they try to make it SOUND interesting of course.. That sickening drivel HAD TO have been written by Swanky Swanton himself to achieve that pompously deceptive level of goofiness. Why you can look at some dead animal carcasses for half an hour!! Don’t dig in the dirt, though. Then you can use the shitter and sit at.. Omigoodness! A genuine PICNIC TABLE! And eat your own damned food you bring from home! Don’t forget to buy a cheap stuffed made in China mammoth toy for $50 at the gift shop, too! I frankly can’t see anything in these photos other than a pile of well.. Nothing?

Frequently Asked Questions

What will we see at your site?

In our dig shelter, you will see the in situ, sub-fossil remains of 6 Columbian mammoths, and a few other Ice Age animals.

Can we dig at your site?

No. Our fossils are protected inside a municipal park. Personal collecting is prohibited. If you would like to experience excavating replica fossils with our staff members, call 750-7946 to inquire about tickets for our “Big Dig Class”!

Is this inside or outside?

About 10-15 minutes of your guided tour will take place outdoors. The remaining 20-30 minutes of your tour will take place in our climate controlled Dig Shelter.

Are these dinosaur bones?

No. Dinosaurs went extinct over 65 million years ago. The Waco Mammoths were here approximately 65 thousand years ago.

Does the tour cost extra?

No. Our guided tours are included in the price of admission.

Do we have to take a tour?

No. You are welcome to enjoy the park and view the fossils at your leisure; however, our guided tours will provide you with far more information about the Waco Mammoth Site than you may gather from a self-guided tour. Regular ticket prices still apply to self-guided tours.

What else is there to do at your site?

The Waco Mammoth Site has a wonderful gift shop and shaded picnic area that you may visit anytime during park hours with or without paid admission. Each Saturday from 10-12, you can participate in our Big Dig Class (call ahead for reservations). Pre-reserved tour groups may also choose to add additional educational activities to your park experience.

Do you have a restroom?

Yes. Our Welcome Center has boys’ and girls’ restrooms available to your students anytime during their program.

Can our kids eat at the park?

Yes. Feel free to bring your own food and drinks to enjoy in our shaded picnic area before or after your scheduled program.

Hair Diddly Oh Boys and Girls! Its the official dead mammoth website!

This looks all the more childish and shady as fuck if you compare the rudimentary crap at their site to any other national monument in Texas or America.

National Park System sites in Texas:

Upon Friday’s declaration as a national monument, the Waco Mammoth Site will become the 16th unit of the National Park System in Texas:

National Monuments
Alibates Flint Quarries – Fritch
Waco Mammoth Site – Waco
National Parks
Big Bend – The big bend of the Rio Grande
Guadalupe Mountains – Salt Flat
National Preserve
Big Thicket – Beaumont
National Memorial
Chamizal – El Paso
National Historic Trails
El Camino Real de los Tejas
El Camino Real de Tierra Adentro
National Historic Site
Fort Davis – Fort Davis
National Recreation Areas
Amistad – Del Rio
Lake Meredith – Fritch
National Seashore
Padre Island – Corpus Christi
National Historical Parks
Lyndon B Johnson – Johnson City
Palo Alto Battlefield – Brownsville
San Antonio Missions – San Antonio
National Wild & Scenic River
Rio Grande – Southwest Texas

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Now suddenly the Waco Tribune is bragging about how they suddenly just got the only thing they EVER really dreamed of in Waco! How orgasmic! Obama and allegedly 65,000 year old animal carcasses. They are giving their dead elephants to, I guess, the Bureau of Land Management? I wouldn’t be surprised if Obama doesn’t give two drizzly rat shits about the bag of bones hole and is just making another land grab.. Oh well, at least if there is another SCARY GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN, the esteemed city of murdererous liars, shady DAs, trigger happy cops, and beyond even rotting carcasses won’t have to worry about the Afro-elephants starving to death.

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The Emperor is apparently rewarding their explemplary job of pissng on veterans and shitting on the Constitution and taking a pick axe to freedom. You gotta like how he waited until there are all but three or four out of jail. Sneaky piece of flop eared grinning lying conniving snake shit. And the bastards in Waco giggle gleefully all the way to the bank.

I wonder if anyone else noticed he donated the same amount as they charged the bikers in bond? A million bucks to build a swing set next to some holes full of bones in basically the desert. My,my.. that’s so MUCH better than, I dunno, paying the SOLDIERS that got laid off?! I bet a million bucks would have a covered a good chunk of their salaries I sure would rather my tax money be spent on soldiers or the Waco Widows… But dead mammoths is still much better than buying Moochelle ONE NIGHT in a fancy hotel, I guess.

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